Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: After-School Special

Anyone else think this episode was a little too heavy?  I just felt like the whole episode was a drag with very few moments of light-heartedness.  I don't watch the Housewives to see big issues being dealt with.  If I wanted to watch people talk about alcoholism and abuse, I would watch Intervention! I go to the Housewives for petty drama and bitchiness, simple as that.  I guess this was Bravo's way of ending the season on a "positive" note.  Alls I gots to say is that next season better bring the heat now that all the real life stuff is squared away. On to the rankings!

Honerable Mention: The Real Househusbands of Beverly Hills
A nice little moment featuring Ken, Mauricio, and Paul.  Ken got to clear on some remarks he made throughout the season and have a good laugh at Cedric.  Mauricio got to thank his legions of adoring fans and show us a side of himself we had never seen! Muy caliente! Then Paul got about 2 seconds before Taylor hijacked his segment and forced us to stare at her face from all angles.

#1. Brandi
#2. Camille
#3. Lisa
#4. Adrienne
I just decided to lump these four together since the way this episode was set up really didn't allow much time for any of them to speak. I'm actually fairly certain that neither Camille nor Adrienne even said one word during the entire hour. I recall Lisa making a vague comment of support after Taylor spoke about Russell for what feels like the millionth time. The only one of these four ladies who got to speak a full sentence was Brandi, who offered up an apology for her remark last week to Taylor about her book. Brandi said she just has to fight back when people say things to her and Taylor was quick to retort "You started it!" Brandi barely uttered another word before Taylor shouted again "Well, you started it!" Brandi finally resigned and said sorry and shut her mouth, to which Taylor responded with the most condescendingly fake smile as she offered up her apology as well.
#5. Kyle
#6. Kim
Lumping these two together as well. All of their screen time was basically intertwined like some sort of sick and twisted co-dependent Siamese twins. These two can never stop fighting. Andy got to have his Barbara Walters moment as he interviewed Kim fresh out of rehab. He seemed awkward asking the hard hitting questions instead of asking "Hey gurrrl, what's your favorite curse word?" But, Kim did seem rejuvenated and willing to answer the questions. She owned up to her behavior and admitted that the reason she acted so erratically throughout the season was due to her alcoholism. I'm glad she's sought treatment and is cleaning up her act, but I was barely interested in her storyline when she was drunk, I really think it's going to be a snooze if she's sober. Kyle joined the conversation towards the end of the hour and spent most of the time crying. First she cried about how happy she was that her sister sought treatment, then she cried about how sad she was that they fought all the time, then she cried because the set decorator had thought it was a good idea to put candles in birdcages. It was a regular splash mountain when Kyle joined the party. These two still bumped heads when Andy started asking about their relationship and Kyle's desire to get Kim on the show. I think they have a lot of unresolved issues surrounding the death of their mother and honestly, I feel like their relationship would be better if one of them wasn't on the show. Kim, I'm looking at you.

#7. Dana

What goes through this damn woman's mind? I literally don't know if she knows what's coming out of her mouth sometimes. As we watched the highlights of her bragging about her outrageous spending habits, she laughed along with the other ladies. Then she defended herself saying she is proud that she has money and doesn't care if it's tacky because that's who she is. I say that counts as a win if you can get a Housewife to admit she is tacky. Other than that, she also chose to defend herself for letting Brandi get ganged up on at her party. Her defense was that Brandi had been poking at the Richards all night, so she obviously deserved to have her crutches hidden from her and called a "slut pig". It was a weak defense, but I think Dana is trying to make sure she secures herself a spot on the next season. She's trying to play herself up as delusional, which if Kim leaves then the spot is definitely wide open. I don't really care for her whatsoever, but if she brings some drama, I can probably put up with her.

#8. Taylor

I am just absolutely sick of Taylor. Please get her off this show as soon as possible. Everything about her just irks me and the more she talks about Russell the worse it gets. It bothers me so much that she could stay with a man that would knock out her friend's husband, throw him in the pool, throw her friend in the pool, THROW THE DAMN DOG IN THE POOL, then hold her head underwater until she almost drowns. Why were the police not called? How is there not a police report? This is serious stuff. She said she asked her friends not to press charges, which is whatever, but I still think if someone knocked me out and threw my wife and dog into the pool, I would involve the authorities. Taylor claims she didn't want any charges pressed because she worried about the safety of her and her daughter, but it seems like they were in just as much danger with him around. When your husband hides in the bushes and then attacks you and your friends, maybe it's time to part ways. And I don't know what she went through and maybe it is insensitive of me, but she claims she is saving lives by writing her story. Well, then what about the two seasons of the show that you covered it up? How many lives were lost then that would've been spared if she had spoken up? It all just comes across as hypocritical to me. Also, she stole Paul's moment. Come on! The man gets five seconds of air time during a 3 hour reunion and you had to go and shove your giant duck lips into it? Let the poor guy have his air time!

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